It's been..... I even have no idea how long we've been together. I only know and still remember every seconds we laughed, we smiled, we argued, we fight and laughed again. Do you remember like I do? I almost forgot the pain I felt at those moments. The pain from the others, so from yours. I don't even know if you have the same feelings as mine. I don't wanna know. But your eyes can never lie. Your smile is telling me everything. I am sure you ever have those arrows straight over me.
I don't wanna care. It's your feelings. I don't even like you so much. Sometimes I hate every moves you made. That they are mirroring my moves. I like being around boys, you like being around girls. I like make a mess with my friends, so do you. I hate you so much. Even your ego as big as mine. Even you act like me when I'm mad. I hate you so much. While I am hating myself.
Do you ever feel like that you like one person so damn much, then even slowly you trust your self that you love that person, then hate him/her so damn freaking much til you even wanna she/he dissapears from your life?
Hate you, love you.
What the fricking is this feeling?
But you're like my father. You shouted too much. You may not know the pain behind my-everyday-movements. The pain that I hate from I was beginning remember how it felt like to be a child. Not a good one. Maybe you think it's fucking same shout when we argue. No, it's not. The pain is felt right at the moment. Even I do wanna cry when you shouted. Like. You. Did. When. The. First. Time. I. started. to. decided. not. to talk to you. For 2 years.
We're still teens, I admit. A half children. So I forgot like it never happened before. Even I didn't remember if you apologize or nah. I already forgived you.
Then you say sorry, few days ago. The words is so strange out from you. I even feel special in one second.
I must say sorry to you too. Sorry, I can't easy take your sorry. And I feel sorry to yourself because you have no idea how I cried because the shoutes are playing in my head now. It's not only from yours, it's all shouts from I was 4 years.
Enjoy my atittudes for feeling I don't want you in my life. (don't forget you still have a chance enjoy my i-like-you-attitude for 0,0001%, who knows my feelings, rite?)
I even wanna thank to you for bringing the memories from my children.
When I don't wanna remember.